Laundromat Nightmare

My Laundromat Nightmare

                Remember any dreams as a child? I do.  The one where I am sitting in class and the teacher calls on me to answer and as soon as she says my name the entire class breaks out in a loud roaring laughter?  I am paralyzed and can’t move because I wasn’t aware of any joke and I have no idea what prompted their outburst.  Looking around I find in horror that I am sitting in my skimpy baby doll pajamas?  I feel the blood drain from my face. I close my eyes praying it is all a bad dream.  Suddenly awaken to find myself in a cold sweat. I just pray that never happens in real life. 

                Well today I had a real life experience of my dream but it didn’t take place in a classroom, it took place in my Laundromat.  I’ve recently moved to a new town and know no one.  I’ve never had the luxury of using a Laundromat before because I’ve either owned or was supplied a pair while renting. I had to ask for direction and after locating the Laundromat confidently, I walked in without fear.  There were couples working on their laundry together and a few mothers with small children trying to fold clothes and chase their young.  I walked through the lines of washing machines to find three of them located together where I began loading baskets of sorted laundry.  I filled my washers and then walked to the coin changer.  Feeling pretty sure of myself, I felt I could accomplish this chore without any errors. The first machine was loaded with all whites, the second for lightly colored and the last one for everything dark.  I added detergent and fed each machine enough quarters to start.  I stood nearby at a folding table organizing and preparing the paperwork for a visit to the bank and post office when my laundry was completed.  The time passed quickly and within a short time all items were in their appropriate dryer.  Once the drying cycle began I lost myself in my book with my iPod playing some of my favorite Fleetwood Mac songs. 

                The dryers began to slow and stop one by one.  I carefully, piece by piece began to fold and place each item in assigned basket.  It didn’t seem awkward at the time, but out of the first dryer came my delicate items that didn’t need as much time to dry as my towels and sweatpants.  Unaware of anyone near me, I began taking each item from the dryer and shaking any lint that may have attached itself for a free ride back to my place.  Then my nightmare began- I wasn’t aware of who was next to me because Stevie Nicks was telling me “You can go your own way”…. I glanced up and for the first time realized how just how many single men were doing their own laundry - ALONE.  I looked at my hands and saw I was carefully folding my lacy undergarments and several of the males were watching as I neatly matched each side together.  The heat that flushed my face stopped me cold.  I dropped my hands with my unmentionables inside of my laundry basket and froze.  I couldn’t believe I was lip sinking “you can go your own way” with Stevie and completely unaware that so many were seeing my personal items being carefully paraded  as if I were the only person enjoying my laundry time. 

                I couldn’t bring myself to look up, I turned down the music being pumping into my ears and I moved faster than even I thought possible; folding a portion of my clothes still damp.  Nothing eased my embarrassment.  I stood in unbelief – I had broken one of my mother’s rules “undergarments are to always be under!” 

                I finished as quickly as possible and cleared my area for the next side show to begin.  I still had enough wits about me to recheck all of my machines to make sure any single socks hadn’t been left behind.  I gathered my items and with head bowed, I made my exit from this personal stage of embarrassment.   Knowing the fear of wearing my pajamas in class was only a dream I use to dread, I now know how it feels to be singing and folding my panties for the world to enjoy. 

                Next stop – pricing a used washer and dryer for my new apartment!