The Tree Climber

Once upon a time in a far away backyard, a little girl found an apple tree and began picking up all the apples on the ground for herself and to share with her family. Her father came along and asked her what she was doing. She replied gathering apples for eating, father. Her father thought a moment and asked her which apples she thought would be better tasting, those on the ground or those left in the tree? She pondered a moment and said maybe they are the same. Her father asked her to pick up a few more apples from the ground. She did and began looking closely at each apple. They were bruised, soft and very mushy. Some had dark spots and many were covered with bees. She stepped back and looked at the apples far up in the tree. Those left in the tree were a shiny, deep red and at once she wanted those apples. Her father asked what made the difference. I want the pure unblemished ones. Her father smiled a contented smile and said that is right my sweetness. And in life, please only wait on the man that will be willing to climb to the top of the tree to possess the best possible fruit of the tree, and that will be you. Keep yourself only available for the one who will take the time to climb and risk it all for you. Never settle for someone that doesn't care which apple he gets, because he will be the one to leave you bruised and unwanted on the ground. Keep yourself only for a true "Tree Climber".

My Window

Everyone needs a place to escape, this is my place. And James Taylor says it all so well in his song, "Up On the Roof"....
"When this old world starts a getting me down
And people are just too much for me to face
I'll climb way up to the top of the stairs
And all my cares just drift right into space
On the roof, it's peaceful as can be
And there the world below don't bother me, no, no
So when I come home feeling tired and beat
I'll go up where the air is fresh and sweet
I'll get far away from the hustling crowd
And all the rat-race noise down in the street
On the roof, that's the only place I know..."

Time is Relevant

Time isn't measured in minutes or hours, it's measured in pain/hardship/endurance or happiness/bliss. If you ask someone that is struggling with heartache about the length of their passing of time and it is perceived as to go on forever. A painful or complicated pregnancy can seem to last years instead of months. Time separated from a loved one can take on characteristics of eternity. But time spent with a dear friend or cherished loved one can pass as a blink. So time isn't really real at all. It is just a point of view....

Rock On

That's right Maddie...."Rock On"....you are going to be a big sister!! How exciting it's going to be for you to have a brother or sister (I know you want a sister) to teach and have fun with. The days you will spend laughing and playing together will be part of your life from here on out. You will make a wonderful big sister because you love to laugh and you love deeply from your heart. Grandma is so very proud of you Madison, but please talk mom and dad to moving back the the states soon, Japan is just to far for any grandma and granddaughter to be apart. I love you Maddie!

Empty Inside

This picture isn't too clear, but can you see the green on the outer edges of this evergreen tree? The inner parts of the tree are bare and lacking any growth at all. For a big part of my life this tree reflects what my life has been like. My outside areas that most people see has been covered with green growth of life and all appeared as OK. My inside was empty and painful with doubts and fears that overtook my life. It wasn't always like that, but for a large part it has been. Fear of failure and pains of being insecure and just never sure what was expected of me. But in recent years, I am slowly taking steps to help the growth inside of myself to begin. I attended classes and earned my associates degree in business. I have taken time to talk with a trained counselor who has helped me see myself in a healthier light. I took all my beliefs and teachings about God and slowly have sorted through most of them. I have had to sort through each one to realize which was truth from God and what was man made and not needed in my thinking. It's been a long and painful search, but in the end it will be worth it all. My goal is to be as healthy on the inside as I appear to be on the outside.

Sunday Morning

What a sad and lonely sound.  I hear the church bells in the distance signaling the beginning of services for several churches in the area.  It saddens me to think I spent all of my life attending services every Sunday morning.  But today life is so different.  I haven't been to church regularly for nearly four years, it's just so painful.  Church life just doesn't make sense for me now, and I'm working so hard inwardly to make it make sense.  My relationship with Christ is still intact, but my belief in church was seriously damages a few years back and it's going to take time for that to heal.  I won't give up hope that someday I can go back and worship, but just not today.

My Dad

My dad is 79 years old and has finally found the one job that he enjoys with all his heart.  As a young man he began working for the Bluffton Police Dept. at the age of 19 and after physical problems retired and has done light side jobs to occupy his time.  He's been a "bouncer" for a bank, he's served many years as a city councilman for Bluffton and now is doing the downtown clean-up with the help of the "men in orange".  In my father's past he has arrested and put many people in jail, now he has the honor of taking them out of their cells a couple of times each week.  He walks with them and talks of his old police stories and gets to know these men that have made some bad choices in their lives.  He tells them often of his own grandson that was sentenced to 10 years in prison. In some small way, I think the love my father feels for this job is a small gift he is trying to give to these men to show his grandson how much he loves him and is so very proud of him.  Many of these men have bonded with my father and some have moved away and made trips back to my parent's home to thank him and spend time together talking of plans to improve their lives.   Thanks Dad for giving of yourself to these men, you are making a difference.