He loves me...He loves me not

Thanks God for loving me no matter what....it means so much.....

A Summer Snowflake

Always hope......

While riding my bike today, I followed this butterfly along the river. It seemed to just sit and pose for me. I kept getting closer with each picture and then after the perfect shot, it flew off across the river. I stood for a moment and thought that just a few short months ago that beautiful monarch butterfly was a creepy crawly caterpillar. But the next step of it's life is one that has always amazed me....the caterpillar is amazing to watch with all it's crazy legs...but when it goes into it's stage of a larva, it appears useless and pretty much just ugly. Then it begins it fight and struggle and eventually appears as this gorgeous winged butterfly. Maybe I should be learning today that life can somewhat be like this...babies and children are amazing and always expanding their thoughts and actions by learning...and then comes adulthood....hard to understand, some days nearly impossible to make sense of life. Younger people look at older people as having lost something in life and some may have, but after the anguish of old age and the pains of life....then comes the beauty....life beyond here....as I believe.....Heaven.

Fall Already?

Today I heard it, the noise my Grandmother use to tell me meant cold weather in six weeks. It was the sound of the locus. The sound is so refreshing and depressing at the same time. Early in the morning it seems to be calling for a quick start to get my day started...but in the evening it's a lonely sound of approaching cooler weather. As a child, the sound use to make me sad because it meant the start of a new school year. School days were painful for me because of my overwhelming shyness. But as I grew older and time seemed to make more sense to me, I started realizing that six weeks from when I noticed the cry of the locus was usually the week of the Bluffton Street Fair. So it wasn't any magical spell this critters have on our weather, it's just the passing and a completion of time. So six weeks from today we will be planning our time for the fair, sitting at football games and wearing sweatshirts...but you know it could all change.....because I do live in Indiana. :)

Foundation

This picture stirs so much within me, and I can't seem to put my feelings into words....but I am going to try. These trees seem to go against all odds of survival. It is known that trees need to establish their roots deep in the ground to help them stand against all types of weather trauma. The thought that all the roots are exposed seems to make these trees open for abuse and possible extinction. But they are still standing tall and growing despite their open, exposed root system. They have remained in place without bending or falling even when they are exposed to the floods, winds and storms that show themselves often in the Indiana summer storm tracks. Maybe what I sense when I look at this picture it knowing that these trees are still being used and enjoyed despite they have gone against nature's set of rules. As it is in my life, I've made choices that have exposed some of my roots of my beliefs and understanding of life, and yet I can still be useful and produce many beautiful options even though I've gone against some of the most basic fundamental teachings of God. He still loves me and hasn't given up on me.....and even though some of my "roots" have been exposed to the public, he still continues to love and cherish me as His own.

Togetherness

Of all the pictures I took the other day on my bike ride, this is one of my favorites. It shows "community" or friendship. I love the fact that these cows all sit together, not some away from the group, giving looks of disdain, but together no matter what. They may not think the same things or understand any of it, they just stay together. It's what family and friends are suppose to do, be there for each other. Like today, my two sons will be visiting their brother with me at the jail...they both would rather be doing something else on this beautiful holiday weekend, but they understand the need for being there for each other during good times and bad. I have been blessed with four of the most wonderful children who have been through some really hard times, but we are there for each other no matter what, even if it means in a grassy field in the sunshine...we are together.

The River from a Pink Point of View!

It's the Fourth of July weekend which usually marks the 1/2 way point of summer. I'm not going to let this summer go by and not enjoy the outdoors. I found a favorite spot to do just that. I ride my bike down the river greenway to the what use to be called the "White Bridge". Never could figure that out as a kid, the bridge was green but everyone called it the white bridge. Now it's been replaced by a beautiful cement bridge that I can sit upon and view the river below. Last week I made my journey to the bridge and sat what seemed like for hours just watching the water dance under my feet. I was amazed by a few small bubbles that kept appearing along the edge of the water that meets with the muddy shore. My curiosity and imagination got the best of me and my mind began to dream of what the bubbles could have meant. Could it have been something buried below the shore hanging on to life? Was it some sort of monster growing just beneath the waters edge? Today I journeyed to the same spot but this time brought along my camera. When I climbed the bridge at the same spot as the other day, I noticed the water was much lower. I looked for the area that had produced the bubbles. When I found the place where I had seen bubbles appearing from under the water just days before, it was then I began to understand and make sense of the mystery that had stumped me earlier. Before my eyes I could see an old discarded rubber tire. It was still beneath the water's level, but was being used as an exercise arena for a few small fish. Like lights coming on in a dark room, I began to understand what had made the bubbles that had been such a puzzle before. This once usable old tire was the home of some sort of river fish...not the possible crime scene that I had invented in my mind days before. Mystery solved....I watch way too many crime scene stories on television.

my heart breaks

Tonight I got a phone call from my mom and Stewart had called ...he has hives and can't get any help....as a mom, I'm dying inside....not many pains hurt more than to have your child hurt and not be able to help or comfort them....I'm praying for you my son, trusting that you are resting well and feel God's comfort as if I was there myself to talk you to sleep....I love you Stewart....hang in there...we are going to make it through this together......