Sunday Morning

What a sad and lonely sound.  I hear the church bells in the distance signaling the beginning of services for several churches in the area.  It saddens me to think I spent all of my life attending services every Sunday morning.  But today life is so different.  I haven't been to church regularly for nearly four years, it's just so painful.  Church life just doesn't make sense for me now, and I'm working so hard inwardly to make it make sense.  My relationship with Christ is still intact, but my belief in church was seriously damages a few years back and it's going to take time for that to heal.  I won't give up hope that someday I can go back and worship, but just not today.

My Dad

My dad is 79 years old and has finally found the one job that he enjoys with all his heart.  As a young man he began working for the Bluffton Police Dept. at the age of 19 and after physical problems retired and has done light side jobs to occupy his time.  He's been a "bouncer" for a bank, he's served many years as a city councilman for Bluffton and now is doing the downtown clean-up with the help of the "men in orange".  In my father's past he has arrested and put many people in jail, now he has the honor of taking them out of their cells a couple of times each week.  He walks with them and talks of his old police stories and gets to know these men that have made some bad choices in their lives.  He tells them often of his own grandson that was sentenced to 10 years in prison. In some small way, I think the love my father feels for this job is a small gift he is trying to give to these men to show his grandson how much he loves him and is so very proud of him.  Many of these men have bonded with my father and some have moved away and made trips back to my parent's home to thank him and spend time together talking of plans to improve their lives.   Thanks Dad for giving of yourself to these men, you are making a difference.  

Daddy's Home from Iraq

Today, well yesterday in Japan my daughter and granddaughter got to see daddy and hubby for the first time in 6 months. What great excitement to know a family is back together. My granddaughter, Madison kept telling people...daddy coming home, I excited....My daughter is a strong woman and has made it through 4 different deployments and continues to be a great mother and wife through it all. Maddie misses her daddy and is always glad to see him. She is an angel. To my daughter's family...best wishes for a great reuion....truly hope this is the last trip to the war area, and I'm selfishly praying for you all to be back in the states very soon....grandma loves road trips and hopes to visit soon....I love you guys....

School Days

I never recall starting school as a child before the first of September after the Labor Day Holiday. My children have been involved in school since the mid-eighties and summer break has slowly been shortened over the years. My youngest son just started his senior year on August 13th this year. I ponder how soon it will be that children will be attending all year long and not able to enjoy traditional summer break. But my biggest question is this, how does nature know when school starts? I mean in my head summer should and will always be until the end of August, but today on my walk, I looked up and saw a tree with it's leaves already turned to a bright fallish yellow. How can this be? How does nature know the children started school last week and it's time now for fall? I guess I am just hoping the other trees don't catch on and they stay green for a very long time. Long live summer!

My Ship

“If my ship sails from sight, it doesn't mean my journey ends, it simply means the river bends.”
John Enoch Powell

In Honor of my Son Stewart

Stewart, recognize this plant? Yes, it's the dreaded "ragweed" a few minutes around this plant and you would become deathly sick, missing days of school. But today as I was walking the River Green Way I saw lots of ragweed along the way, but this one sort of just jumped and caught my eye. I stood for the longest time and just smiled. Can you see this plant, one that is so bad for you and can make so much pain in your life has a flower vined up and attached to it. Yes, even when we are in the midst of pain and horrible 'stuff' there is always beauty to be found. Today, Stewart please remember that for the many days to come while you are away, despite the pain and anguish there is beauty among the pain. Promise me you will keep looking for beauty. I love you my son, Mom :)

You Will Be Missed

I only knew you a very short time, but you became part of my life. I will miss you, Beckit....

Looking at Life Backwards

I think I finally got it, but I won't guarantee I won't have to re-learn it again in the near future. I'm looking at life backwards, watching it all happen from where I've come from. I take my experiences and those actions have a great influence on how I live out my future days. I think I know how something happens becaused of how another situation might have worked out before in life. I'm watching it all happen as though I'm watching life playout in my car's rearview mirror. I see cars approaching me in the mirror and fail to see the warning that is posted "objects in mirror may seem closer than they apprear"......so reaction times may differ if I would just look at life that is coming towards me and not see what has passed in my life. So today, I want to make sure I start looking ahead, with the memories of where I've been, but take steps boldly to lead myself and not the memories of others take me where they think would be best.

Road Trip

It's so good to get away from familiar surroundings, to go somewhere that no one knows your name. I had time away this weekend and I could dress as I wanted, sleep as long as I wanted I even could eat when the mood hit. I loved the feeling of walking down the street in a large city and know I won't recognize another person there. I don't wear anything differently than I do when I'm at home, it's just the idea that I am free to wear any and all my outfits without ever having the thought go through my mind,"hum, wonder what they think". Wow, what a freeing thought....to go and do as I please and not worry about what anyone thinks, except me.... I had time to sit and sip coffee and think about my life and where it is going, to think and worry about my kids and offer up a prayer for them to find just what they need to get through this journey called life. Then to drift off to sleep with a distant train rumbling in the background sounds of a large hotel. Peaceful....and refreshing :)

Double Blessing Day

Today was so exciting......two great surprises, pictures from my girls in Japan and a letter from Stewart from prison. My girls are doing OK and surviving the typhoon soon to be passing through their area. The letter from Stewart also stated I could email him there. I was SO excited. They charge .40 per email, but it's still cheaper than regular mail and it takes only a couple of days for it to get through. If anyone is interested, let me know and I will pass on the address.....What a wonderful day... :)

Yankee's at Chicago

Wow...is about all I can say...what an experience to be among so many baseball fans. I attended the Yankee/White Sox game in Chicago yesterday....you could just feel the excitement in the air....maybe it was because my friend and I seemed to be the only ones wearing a Yankee's hat. Oh we would spot a few fellow Yankee fans, but there was a definite dominance of White Sox fans EVERYWHERE. Even at the tailgate party we had at the beginning...all White Sox fans. But they were really polite and we had lots of fun letting them continually rub in the loss the Yankees experienced yesterday....14-4. The weather was near perfect....lots of clouds, a bit of sun and then a few sprinkles.... Our seats were directly under the STANLEY sign and 5 rows up....it was amazing.....